Stunthanger is all about education.
Lets give you a little education " Down Under " Style.
Theres a reason Australia is surrounded by nothing but water. God is trying to protect you from the hell trapped within
Just The Facts
Australia is home to some of the worlds deadliest animals
All those animals want you dead
Overrated
Introduction
When you look at Australia in a travel brochure , it's usually described as a tropical paradise getaway but what they don't tell you is the numerous animals that can kill a human in many painful ways. So I'll list just a few of the animals that make Australia Gods torture room.
Crocodiles. These are the things most people think of when they hear 'Australia' and with good reason. These things can grow up to 25ft long and killed an estimated 20 people last year alone.
Crocodiles are ambush predators , they wait for unsuspecting pray (you) to go close enough to the riverbank so it can hurl its body out of the water and grab you in its Jaws armed with razor sharp teeth. And when that guy grabs you, it's game over. Once these things grab you , it goes into what is known as a 'death roll' to tear chunks off flesh off, failing this they will just hold you under water until you drown. Then they eat you.
The three most dangerous types of shark are: The Bull Shark , Tiger Shark and the big daddy of them all "JAWS" the Great White. Australia is home to all three.
Tiger Sharks,also know as the garbage cans of the sea because they eat anything with a pulse (and sometimes , even stuff without one). These sharks hunt in the shallows because thats where therir main food sources live.Turtles crabs fish seagulls but , as i mention , tiger sharks will eat literally anything , including a tasty looking human froliking freely in the shallow water. Its called the Tiger Shark because of the tiger-like stripes along it's back.
Great Whites , the largest predatory fish in the ocean , commonly reaching lengths of up to 23ft , these animals are basically the perfect hunters , streamline bodies that mean they can swim up to 25mph , Chew through steel and jump out of the water to catch a helpless seal.
These sharks live in one place , the deep ocean. When these sharks attack its usually just a 'test bite' where the shark takes a quick taste of the animal. They do this because , like most sharks , Great whites rely mostly on smell & electo magnetic fields to find pray and their vision isn't the best. So it can easily mistake a human swimming for a seal, well a really big seal.
The problem with this ofcourse is that , well Great white's have huge teeth & a bunch of them.So one bite to a major organ or artery could mean game over.
Sharks kill around a person a year in Australia , and there are around 12 attacks all year. Probably because the crocodiles beat them too it.
The Box Jellyfish is a animal that just floats around in the shallow waters along Australia's beaches, waiting for an ususpecting person to swim by it , then WHABANG , 60+ meter long tenticles wrap around the persons leg injecting several harpoon-like triggers full of venom. The effect? Death witin minutes. Theres No Anti-Venom Available and even if you survive , you'd have to put up with hours of exruciating pain , or a disfuguring scar.
Okay , thats the waters of Australia done , now lets move to the land (Joy). We'll start from the creatures out of a childs nightmare.Freddy Krueger Spiders.
Australia is , once again , home to the most deadly kinds of spiders on the planet , including :
The Sydney Funnel Web
Bird Eating Tarantula (Yes , a spider that eats birds)
TrapDoor Spider (A spider that takes after Jigsaw)
And your probably thinking 'No spider is a match for my rolled up newspaper' well thats probably true. But what if you didn't read the newspaper because , i don't know , your allergic to newsprint , and you find one of these spiders in your yard but luckily you have a swimming pool. Bye bye spider! . Or not . Because Australia is so messed up , the spiders can Survive under water !
So yeah , even water that you own in Australia has something in it that can kill you.
God Help Me , Okay Snakes. Australia is home to an estimated 100 venomous snakes , as a matter of fact , Australia is the only place on Earth where there are more Venomous snake species than non-venonmous , Fan-fucking tastic ,
Australia, surprise surprise , also is home to the three most venomous snakes on the planet, these are:
Coastal Taipan (Most venomous snake)
King Brown
Tiger Snake
Yes , Australia is home to the snake with the most potent venom on the planet , roll up the Coastal Taipan , just a drop of venom from this creature is enough to kill 20 people. Thankfully if you do happen to get bitten by a snake in Australia , there are Anti-Venom for most of them. Most .
We welcome you with open arms.
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