cool factor of at least 10

I like it. 

You are absolutely no longer a beginner. Going backwards will be cheating yourself.

Always measure yourself against people who are better than you. This will give you something to shoot for. You are already a mid to high level Intermediate flyer.

You would and should rightfully be embarrassed to take a beginner trophy.

The statement about small maneuvors is a key to getting better - almost everyone seems to fly them too small at first.  Open everything up, you can always choke them down later if your coach tells you to.
It's a bit like when I was autocrossing - a buddy told me to go way too fast on my first run, and if I made it without taking out a pylon, good, if not, it is easier to slow down than to go faster.
That worked for me then, the bigger pattern works for me now.

My flying buddy and I tried those critique sheets, and we quickly went to just watching each other fly, remembering the worst two or three things, and then debriefing right after each flight.

Of course, at it turns out we each have our own screw ups that we do over and over again, so the conversations have gotten short, and involve the word "usual" a lot.

Nice pattern, definitely top of the pack Intermediate. Don't waste your time going back to the beginner pattern. You have the skills to do well in Intermediate as is and are maybe one contest season away from Advanced.  

I hold a conversation with the airplane during the pattern.  I tell it which maneuver comes next and compliment it if it does a maneuver particularly well.   Seriously, talking aloud to the airplane will help you remember which maneuver comes next.

Fly Intermediate.  You'll still get slack for tripping over people's lines, you'll still be the riff-raff (it goes with tripping over other people's lines).  About the only thing you don't get in Intermediate that you do in Beginner is a full pattern's worth of time to fly 2/3 of a pattern.

Fly Intermediate, don't trip over my lines (not that it matters -- I don't confine my line-tripping to other people's lines), and if you over-run or under-run, or if you get the jitters so bad that people can see it in your level flight (which I still occasionally do, myself), just don't let it freak you out on your next flight.

As to the actual pattern, I see two or three things:

In the eights your outsides look bigger than the insides.  This may just be the perspective of the camera -- but watch for it.

The maneuvers where you should be entering high, you're starting out too low.  I like to enter both my outside squares and my cloverleaf from at least 1/4 of a lap of dead level flight.  Quite a few people, even in under-expert, come around too low, pop up at the last minute, and turn the first corner of the outside square into a 120 degree corner.  All the last-minute wingwazzles mess up the first square loop -- and that's what I saw in your flight.  You kind of did the same thing in the clover, except that you just did the upper loops too low.  Then on each upper loop you saw how low you were, said "oh @#$%!", climbed, and did the lower loop.  The correct start for the clover is a bit lower than the correct start for the outside square -- but not that low.

In general, your clover was just too small overall -- again, unless perspective was messing me up.  You should start at about 42 degrees, intersect a "wingover line" going crossways to the wind at the peak of the upper loops, fly that same 42 degree line between upper and lower loops, and fly both straight sections dead on top of each other.  It's not the easiest maneuver to do correctly (which is why it's your finale!), but it does look good when it's done right.