Randy,
the standard in auto world is grey, most sealers are grey and some are tintable as well.
The grey used is typically a lot darker than you might think on first impression. The darker it is, the faster ( and less material ) it takes to cover.
as long as the base is uniform, the transparancy of the white isnt much of an issue, its the zebra stripes that make it difficult.
I too dont like silver or any metallic as a base.
One thing you may consider is to make your grey tinted towards one of the trim colors as this will give the white a very slight cast in the direction of a trim color and tends to make it *merge* better with the trim.
another trick is to make your white whiter by adding a drop of blue to it. It also makes the white cleaner and brighter looking,,
unless your going for dingy whites,,,,