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Author Topic: Humor section?  (Read 82908 times)

Offline AMV

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #950 on: April 18, 2024, 09:10:44 AM »
Sand is called SAND because it's between SEA and LAND  ;)

I'll show myself out.

Cheers, H^^
-Andrey
Spice is the variety of life.

Online Ken Culbertson

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #951 on: April 18, 2024, 11:25:52 AM »
Sand is called SAND because it's between SEA and LAND  ;)

I'll show myself out.

Cheers, H^^
-Andrey

Sorry, the door is locked!

Supposedly the old Duch word "zand" which allegedly means something that was finer than gravel, but coarser than dust. But I have it on good authority  that "zand" really meant between z land and the "zee".  LL~
AMA 15382
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Offline Ty Marcucci

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #952 on: April 18, 2024, 03:48:12 PM »
Then please explain sand mountain in northern Nevada.....it is huge, so huge movies have been  made on it.  The ocean is very far away. D>K
Ty Marcucci

Offline AMV

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #953 on: April 18, 2024, 04:57:51 PM »
Then please explain sand mountain in northern Nevada.....it is huge, so huge movies have been  made on it.  The ocean is very far away. D>K

The ancient Lake Lahontan was the "sea" on top of Sand Mountain long before we can all remember.  ;)

Back to you, H^^
-Andrey
Spice is the variety of life.

Offline Ty Marcucci

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #954 on: April 19, 2024, 06:31:55 AM »
Right and it is not unusual to find sea shells  out in the middle of the "desert".  The great Salt Lake is a left over part of that ocean and it is unbelievable as to the thousands of sea gulls and pelicans that live there. H^^
Ty Marcucci

Offline AMV

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #955 on: April 19, 2024, 07:08:22 AM »
The world moved on, but those seagulls and pelicans didn't get the memo  LL~
Spice is the variety of life.

Offline Steve Dwyer

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #956 on: April 19, 2024, 08:42:06 AM »
What did the dog say when he walked on sandpaper??

Offline Will Hinton

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #957 on: April 19, 2024, 10:53:11 AM »
What did the dog say when he walked on sandpaper??
RUFF!! LL~ LL~ LL~
John 5:24   www.fcmodelers.com

Offline Steve Dwyer

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #958 on: April 19, 2024, 11:58:46 AM »
Sorry Will, the correct answer is "Rough, Rough"  H^^

Steve

Offline Will Hinton

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #959 on: April 19, 2024, 06:42:15 PM »
Sorry Will, the correct answer is "Rough, Rough"  H^^

Steve
Aaawww shucks, I never win anything. HB~> ''
John 5:24   www.fcmodelers.com

Offline AMV

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #960 on: April 25, 2024, 03:12:07 PM »
I can't "handle" automatic doors.  H^^
Spice is the variety of life.

Offline Steve Dwyer

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #961 on: April 25, 2024, 06:05:12 PM »
Careful, most of them always sweep away but hey you never know.

Online Dwayne Donnelly

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #962 on: April 26, 2024, 05:58:54 AM »
What do dentists call their X-rays?

Tooth pics.  H^^
My purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

Offline Steve Dwyer

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #963 on: April 26, 2024, 07:10:56 AM »
Why was the carpenter fired?   Because he didn't measure up. HB~>

Online Robert Zambelli

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #964 on: April 26, 2024, 03:31:47 PM »
A few visuals!

Online Robert Zambelli

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #965 on: April 26, 2024, 03:37:19 PM »
More laughs!

Offline Perry Rose

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #966 on: May 01, 2024, 06:32:58 AM »
Another test gone wrong.
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Air Ministry .

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #967 on: May 01, 2024, 09:36:36 PM »
He decided to call his Scottish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.










Offline Air Ministry .

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #968 on: May 01, 2024, 09:41:55 PM »
Tony Blair, the British Prime Minister, is being shown around a hospital. Towards the end of the visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of people with no obvious signs of injury or disease. He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies: "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye take your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm." Tony, being somewhat confused (as usual), goes to the next patient and greets him. The patient replies: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit." The third starts rattling off as follows: "Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!" Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks what sort of ward is this. A mental ward? "No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns Unit."



Two Scots:
- I want to see how good you are at algebra. If you have 20 pounds and I ask you to lend me 5, how many pounds will you have?
- 20!

- What does a Scot do when he is cold?
- He puts a candle next to him.
- And what does he do when he is very, very cold?
- Light the candle.

A Scot comes to the registry office and wants to change the name of his wife. The clerk looks at him with some suspicion:
- Why didn't your wife come to change her name?
- He can't come because she died a week ago.
- But why do you want to change her name?
- I found a very nice second-hand gravestone, at a good price, but the name is different.

Offline AMV

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #969 on: May 02, 2024, 06:15:52 AM »


That one has been making the rounds in Ukielands ever since the war started... loses exactly nothing in the Ukie translation ;)

Cheers, H^^
-Andrey
Spice is the variety of life.

Online Robert Zambelli

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Re: Humor section?
« Reply #970 on: May 02, 2024, 09:43:21 AM »
Funny ones!


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