As the self appointed "High Inquisitor" my investigation is complete and has been exhaustive/exhausting. I find this guy, Brett Buck, to be in violation of the vaunted Hurl Rules and procedures. He has obviously shirked his duty as it was a simple matter of a short phone call to clear up the accusations.
While I admire your initiative, we (that is, The Hurl Committee and the relevant government officials, ethicists, and theologians employed or consulted by the committee for this incident) know exactly what happened, and why. If you *should* piece together the sequence of events, I think you will also understand the need to limit discussion to the bare minimum required to conduct business.
I would certainly hope that everyone would know to refrain from idle and/or baseless speculation, if for no other reason, to maintain public order.
Above alll, there is no need to panic! The situation is relatively well under control.
HIPAA considerations limit what we can discuss in public, however, our lead researcher, Dr. Cuvier, has assured us that the commissioner is in no immediate danger, and we have every hope of his rapid recovery to, er, "normal". And of course when I say "normal", I mean "normal for Larry". Whether that is a good idea or not is currently under debate. We are reviewing our research and testing protocols to prevent a recurrence.
And I will just say it - we had not anticipated this "situation", and the Rules of the Hurl were, at best, ambigious in this area. So that is entirely a failing on the part of the Hurl Committee, and why, in this time of uncertainty, we need such a firm hand on the tiller.
I will also note that I nor any other Hurl insider said anything about this person you refer to as "DF". Eric simply jumped to a conclusion on that one - understandably - but the surveillance reports indicate that no one with those initials was anywhere near when "the incident" occurred. And, to be honest, it doesn't even make sense, it would working at cross purposes for The Usual Suspects.
Naturally, in the spirit of fair play, and to ensure enjoyable competition, we routinely track the movements and contacts of all participants, and the general public. So in this case, there was no real mystery. To first approximation, it is just an internal matter.
In a completely unrelated topic, while I (as Deputy Commissioner (self-appointed), and currently, Acting Maximum Leader) understand the desire to perform to the utmost in The Hurl, it is, ultimately, about camaraderie and good sportsmanship. While it is perfectly reasonable to train hard and work on your technique, it is very easy to let the desire to perform overcome your good sense and have the Hurl consume your entire life. There has to be some limit and you can't let it drive you to unreasonable/immoral/unnatural means.
We are less that a week to next Hurl. I am reliably told that the Hurling Grounds are in excellent shape and are conducive to long, perhaps record, Hurls. With the situation with the Commissioner stable, albeit not resolved, we are still on track for yet another celebration!
Thanks again for your interest in the international celebration known as The Hurl!
Brett