Author Topic: For Priscilla (Read 3877 times)

Bradley Walker · « **on:** July 16, 2009, 08:36:00 AM »

For Priscilla

There is a hole in my heart. It is a real as any affliction. I can feel the absence there in the same way a veteran of war would feel the memory of a limb long removed. The feeling and function there once so obviously alive is now numbed and ghostly.

There are spaces in my house where only shadows remain. I can see impressions upon everything within it that glaringly show the absence of a long time presence, now gone. Everywhere are footprints left behind that are so deep they do not seem to go away.

There are visions in my mind's eye so real it seems as though they just occurred only moments ago. Like cinematic reels that play the pieces of the past. From the smallest unassuming beginnings...to the very end. In the feature there was only one actor. A player who performed their part so eloquently and genuinely that we are left wanting at the end of the story.

Where there once were sounds there are only echoes of memories and then a deafening quiet. For countless hours I wished only for peaceful silence, and now that there is quiet I am captured by the stillness of that wish. A stillness so deep that I am alone. I am alone with the chorus of the memories within my ears.

Who knows what comfort another life brings until tit is gone? No one truly knows. That is the great flaw of our humanity... we simply cannot image the spaces that are filled by those around us. We are blind to the wholeness of ourselves until that wholeness is stripped away. We are left with only the great gaping holes in our hearts, and the forever silent impressions of shadows remain.

We are left only with our memories, and the memories of memories, and someday those too will fade. It must be our resolve to remember. It must be our joy to carry that hole within our hearts like heroes of past battles carry their scars. So we can all remember and be proud to have shared a small part of what was once there.

I will miss my little girl. The little puppy that climbed over all of her brothers and sisters to impress me every time I came to see her. That walked under my feet and tried to work the pedals when I drove my truck. Whose puppy belly would get so big she could not climb the stairs. She was the the great baby snorer and queen of the bed. Life long companion to Elvis the King. The forever camera hog and super model. The beautiful baying bellower and squirrel chaser. Mother dog to the Big Boy.

We will all miss you my love. I will forever miss my Cilla Pilla Pie. Sleep Cilla, your work is done here and we are all better for it.

Snowy River Priscilla
1995-2009

Ironbomb · « **Reply #1 on:** July 16, 2009, 09:46:52 AM »

Sorry to hear of your friends' passing. She must have had the best possible life a doggie can have with you. I hope you find comfort with her memorys of your time together. And maybe she'll send another friend your way in the future, one that will be as happy as she was with you.

Greg

Dick Byron · « **Reply #2 on:** July 16, 2009, 01:23:41 PM »

Brad,
I am touched by your sadness. My condolence for your loss. Your words must remind us all to the love of our pets.

Randy Ryan · « **Reply #3 on:** July 16, 2009, 01:42:05 PM »

Brad,

You expressed so well the void left by the loss of a beloved pet. I am reminded of my Diamond girl, Beagel/Doberman, an Beagleman. 3 years ago I had neck surgery and was unable to do anything but sit proped up in the corner of the couch. She was already sick with age and had been on medication for some time. But that sweet pup stayed with me and took care of me until I was able to get up and move around. Then, her job finished, she collapsed and had to be euthenized because of the pain. When we took her in, the gal asked if she would bite and I told her she'd more likely kiss her. She reached for a paw and was gently kissed on the cheek. She looked at me and said she wasn't sure she could go through with it. But she finally composed herself and did what was needed. My Diamond girl layed back against me and slowly and painlessly passed out of my life, never to be forgotten.

I cry with you Brad.

Bob Reeves · « **Reply #4 on:** July 16, 2009, 02:18:03 PM »

I probably have more compassion for dogs than I have for people, hearing of anyones beloved pet passing always brings tears. I feel for you man...

john e. holliday · « **Reply #5 on:** July 16, 2009, 02:57:16 PM »

Brad, I guess I am too sentimental or too emotional. I don't know how I am typing this with tears running down my face.

Dad always stated to never make pets out of animals. But, I watched him cry when Shep the black collie didn't return home one night. Also when he carried a newborn calf back that didn't get a chance at life. Most people know who little Sandy is. When I left her with the neghbors I had to leave quick as I was losing it. Granted it was only a short week, but, seemed like a month.

I too hope you can find another that will maybe bring joy back to you as they in rality can never be replaced. Yours, DOC Holliday

catdaddy · « **Reply #6 on:** July 16, 2009, 03:51:03 PM »

Sorry to hear this Brad. This past December Cisco, our faithful dog of 15 years, passed two weeks before Christmas. Then two weeks after Christmas my favorite pet cat Wishbone, after a dozen or so years of ruling the neighborhood by chasing away stray dogs and cats, passed away as well. I think I cried more for him than I did for my own fathers passing. I'm still having a hard time not looking for him when I come home in the evening. I liked your tribute to your friend Priscilla.

Randy Powell · « **Reply #7 on:** July 16, 2009, 03:55:04 PM »

I felt that way when my dog, Kelty, died. Great companion and friend and I miss her terribly.

Claudio Chacon · « **Reply #8 on:** July 16, 2009, 04:30:51 PM »

Dear Mr. Walker,
As a dog lover, let me tell you that I'm deeply sorry about your loss.
Try to get some relief with another puppy and take care of her as you did with Priscilla. She'll understand...
Dogs are angels...

Sincerely,
Claudio Chacón.

"Big Art" · « **Reply #9 on:** July 16, 2009, 05:44:38 PM »

Brad, that is without a doubt the most beatiful tribute I have ever read be it for a human or a Precious animal. I am very sorry for your loss. Reading those words my eyes were prespiring as well.
Take care Dear Friend

"Big Art" Adamisin

George · « **Reply #10 on:** July 16, 2009, 06:45:46 PM »

Anybody who read that and did not get choked up remembering a pet of their own...ain't human.

George

Will Hinton · « **Reply #11 on:** July 17, 2009, 03:50:42 PM »

Brad, I echo Big Art and George. As a writer, I am a bit envious of your wonderful skill of passionate expression - you are very talented, no, make that gifted as a writer, but even more so as a human being.
I, too, weep with you, (just had to pause for a Kleenex, seriously) as it not only brought back memories of our Mysti and how her life taught us how to love, truly love, but it broke my heart for you, a fellow dog lover.
May God comfort you during the adjustment period.
As for getting another Puppy, that's probably excellent advice, but I just couldn't do it, I could never go through the pain of having another friend put to sleep, it's just too traumatic for me to think about it.
Blessings,
Will

Matt Colan · « **Reply #12 on:** July 17, 2009, 04:36:58 PM »

I really feel for you Brad. I really can't say anything, I'm at a loss of words, because you reminded me of our dog that had to be put to sleep, Dixie a german shepard and terrier mix.

billbyles · « **Reply #13 on:** July 17, 2009, 06:02:51 PM »

Truly sorry for your loss, Brad. I know what you are feeling and it is a huge loss and hard to believe. Last August my girl Gypsy had to be put down; she was 15 years old and was failing sadly. The doc said that she had spinal myelopathy and her kidneys were failing. I got her when she was 9 weeks old and could fit in my two hands. She grew to be 60 lbs. and went everywhere with me, sitting on the passenger seat of my truck. She loved to go hiking with me in the San Gabriel mountains and swim in the streams. She was the most lovable companion I have ever had, and was always happy to see me come home.

When the time came for her to go I held her while the doc gave her the shot and for awhile after. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I miss her more than it is possible to imagine...it seems so strange for her to not be here. It will be a long time before I will be able to get another puppy, if I ever can; there is just no replacing her. Dogs are just a bundle of love and a lot of comfort. Although it will be a year next month, I feel like it was yesterday. For me, the pain fades very slowly.

Bill Byles

Dave Adamisin · « **Reply #14 on:** July 17, 2009, 08:42:21 PM »

HI Brad. Thanks for sharing your love for your sweet parted friend with us your extended family. We are an animal friendly house and so have had our own loses. It never gets easier but hopefully it gets less bitter and more fond. We are thinking of you and scratching our boy Toby more gently and looking at him a bit more tenderly. Take care.

Bill Little · « **Reply #15 on:** July 18, 2009, 10:11:35 AM »

Brad,

I am so moved by your message. I am so sorry for the loved one you have lost. Some people, I am one, get very attached to their pet. The actually DO become a loved member of the family.

I lost my most precious puppy this past New Years day. She was the only Lab we have ever had. She *found me* during the visit to her litter and became my constant companion. It was a time when I was going through a very hard time and she was always there with her unbounding love. She was only three when her systems started to fail from diabetic complications, which we both shared. She died in my arms, but she never suffered. Just gone way too soon. I still tear up at times, but it is from fond memories. Those are the closest feelings I have ever had besides my own children and wife.

My God Bless,
Bill <><

Larry Cunningham · « **Reply #16 on:** July 18, 2009, 10:50:51 AM »

Well written, Brad, and I definitely connect with your loss of a beloved pet.

It hurts so much because of the pet's unconditional love and innocence. What makes it all
worthwhile also makes its loss intensely sad.

After a proper mourning period, the proper thing to do is to head for the pound and rescue
another one. Repeat the experience; you'll eventually mourn the next one.

L.

"A faithful dog will always stay with you
And laugh with you - or cry -
He'll gladly starve to stay with you
Nor ever reason why.
And when you re feeling out of sorts
Somehow, he'll understand.
He ll watch you with his shining eyes
and try to lick your hand.
His blind implicit faith in you
Is matched by his great love.
The kind that all of us should have
In the Master, up above.
When everything is said and done
I guess this isn t odd.
For when you spell Dog backwards
You get the name God." -anonymous

Bradley Walker · « **Reply #17 on:** July 20, 2009, 01:06:21 PM »

Thank you all for your kind words. I wrote this for my little girl. I thought it was worth being said. I just wanted to share it. I felt she deserved that.

Bradley Walker · « **Reply #18 on:** July 26, 2009, 01:42:09 PM »

Our new 4 month old Bullmastiff female named Baby Pi Pi (named after Cilla Pi Pi---pronounced like pi*R**2). She is a doll and so smart!!!!

Brick loves her and won't go outside without her.. just like Cilla. We nearly were in tears!!! He stops at the door, turns around and waits for her to catch up. Just like he used to do with Cilla. No matter how look it took... even when Cilla was so sick, he would always wait.

Not one accident in the house yet!!! She is so good. She is just a joy of a puppy.

PS: She is Brick's cousin, so no babies in the future.

john e. holliday · « **Reply #19 on:** July 27, 2009, 08:17:39 AM »

Great news and such a handsome pup. DOC Holliday

Author Topic: For Priscilla (Read 3877 times)

Dave Adamisin