Author Topic: Wifeism. (Read 2713 times)

Perry Rose · « **on:** October 27, 2015, 01:17:12 PM »

We were discussing the worlds problems, and solving them. Then she said "I forgot what I was looking for the other day and it took me all day to find it". And you think you got problems.

Bootlegger · « **Reply #1 on:** October 27, 2015, 04:42:48 PM »

Oh Perry don't let her read this!!! You WILL be in deep do do.. Any more news??

Terry Caron · « **Reply #2 on:** October 27, 2015, 05:22:18 PM »

Kudos to your wife Perry - it takes real determination to look all day for an unknown.
Sadly, I don't have that level of commitment - I'd say "to heck with it" until it popped into my head later.

Terry

wwwarbird · « **Reply #3 on:** October 27, 2015, 06:11:58 PM »

Lost my dad back in '84 but I'll always remember him giving my mom s--t about a question she'd asked once, "Is that radio battery powered or electric?"

Jim Kraft · « **Reply #4 on:** October 27, 2015, 07:46:46 PM »

Yeah! Wives are a hoot. My wife calls the saddle bags on my Harley baskets, and the guys with ape hanger bars she call monkey bars. She is still my best friend after 56 years of marriage.

Arlan McKee · « **Reply #5 on:** October 27, 2015, 08:40:09 PM »

One of my brothers was telling a hunting tale and mentioned a beaver dam.
My other brother's wife said, " Beavers?? They make wood don't they?"

The same brothers wife was playing softball in the field across the road from my house.
I fouled a ball across the street and she ran to get it.
We hollered for her to throw it but she refused.
She thought that if she threw it and it hit the power lines she would get shocked.

My wife has a great deal of common sense and I just don't have any stories like that about her.

wwwarbird · « **Reply #6 on:** October 27, 2015, 09:00:41 PM »

Quote from: Arlan McKee on October 27, 2015, 08:40:09 PM

One of my brothers was telling a hunting tale and mentioned a beaver dam.
My other brother's wife said, " Beavers?? They make wood don't they?"

HA! That one reminds me, a true story...

About a year ago a few co-workers and myself met up after work and were relaxing and having a few cold ones. At one point a conversation got going about what different types of wild game any of us had ever eaten or tried. As many experiences were being described suddenly our 65ish year old (female) receptionist pipes up "Have you ever eaten a beaver?"

Motorman · « **Reply #7 on:** October 27, 2015, 10:28:15 PM »

My wife and I were eating at an airport restaurant in San Diego and watching the planes take off and land. There was a plane towing up a glider, something you don't see everyday. She asked "Why is that one plane towing the other plane"? I said "Well, sometimes they run out of gas up there and they have to go up and get them". Just for a few seconds she believed it.

MM

Bob Heywood · « **Reply #8 on:** October 28, 2015, 08:47:47 AM »

Quote from: Motorman on October 27, 2015, 10:28:15 PM

My wife and I were eating at an airport restaurant in San Diego and watching the planes take off and land. There was a plane towing up a glider, something you don't see everyday. She asked "Why is that one plane towing the other plane"? I said "Well, sometimes they run out of gas up there and they have to go up and get them". Just for a few seconds she believed it.

MM

Walt, I like your style...

Steven Kientz · « **Reply #9 on:** October 28, 2015, 02:24:55 PM »

Years ago I stopped by my brothers house to help him. As I was leaving his wife told him she couldn't start dinner. He asked why? Her reply was " I'm going to grill Rueben sandwiches, but I don't know if the sauerkraut goes on top or bottom" His look told me it was time to go.

Mike Griffin · « **Reply #10 on:** October 28, 2015, 03:18:13 PM »

A few years ago, my wife and I were driving through the Smokey Mountains. She was looking out the window and said "I wonder why the mountains look so smokey?" Here's your sign.

Mike

Randy Ryan · « **Reply #11 on:** October 29, 2015, 06:49:17 AM »

Quote from: Perry Rose on October 27, 2015, 01:17:12 PM

We were discussing the worlds problems, and solving them. Then she said "I forgot what I was looking for the other day and it took me all day to find it". And you think you got problems.

HAHAHAHAHA I've read this about 40 times now and every time I have to clean the coffee off my monitor!!!!!

John Park · « **Reply #12 on:** October 29, 2015, 07:57:30 AM »

Women have a secret language. They can communicate with one another in ways unfathomable to us. I once heard a daughter, who was just off to the supermarket, ask her mother whether there was anything she needed: 'Yes, dear,' said her mother, 'a thing of stuff.' This was received without comment, and in due course the daughter returned with a half-litre pack of lemon-scented scouring cream for cleaning baths and sinks. This was exactly what was required.
Over the years, I have seen many examples of this kind of thing, and have absolutely no idea how it is done.

Regards
John

Motorman · « **Reply #13 on:** October 29, 2015, 07:59:57 AM »

Quote from: Ty Marcucci on October 28, 2015, 10:00:44 AM

Sounds like a "here's your sign" moment.

Nah, it was more like a "she trusts what I say" moment then we had a good laugh.

MM

Dan Berry · « **Reply #14 on:** October 29, 2015, 08:08:48 AM »

Newlywed wife: " Honey, what are you doing?"
Hubby: " Building a model airplane."
Wife: ".......Don't you already HVE a model airplane?"

True story from a FFer. He did mention it was his second wife. I'm thinking not the final wife.

Bootlegger · « **Reply #15 on:** October 29, 2015, 08:30:09 AM »

Yeah, women talk in Female and we guy's hear in Male, so something gets lost in the translation...

Jim Carter · « **Reply #16 on:** October 29, 2015, 08:42:37 AM »

It took a few moments to sink in but I knew I was in trouble when we were standing in front of the preacher and he asked "Do you ....... ?? " She said "He does!!" There wasn't a dry eye in the place!!

john e. holliday · « **Reply #17 on:** October 29, 2015, 10:40:43 AM »

Of course gentlemen it goes the other way also. How many times have we had a conversation with another male and when we were done had to explain it to the other half.

FLOYD CARTER · « **Reply #18 on:** October 29, 2015, 11:04:33 AM »

I'm often reminded why my wife has kept me all these years. She can't find anyone else who will capture house spiders in a jar and take them FAR outside to let them go to enjoy a long life. Without my unique ability to perform that dreaded task, I think she would have dumped me long ago.

Floyd

Dick Pacini · « **Reply #19 on:** October 29, 2015, 11:36:14 AM »

That is all well and good Floyd, but she hasn't figured out that it is YOU catching the spiders and bringing them into the house to reinforce your status as resident spider catching hero.

Will Hinton · « **Reply #20 on:** October 29, 2015, 11:53:45 AM »

But the biggest mystery for me is when there are four women in the room, all taking at once, and afterwards, they all knew what each of the others said! Used to drive me nuts! Just lost the love of my life after 51 years and I would give anything to hear that chicken-coop talking again!