Steve,
If you want to be a Windy wannabe, you gotta get with the "witness protection" jokes. You got to get up to speed on the Mafia in New Jersey jokes. Of course, interjecting about having a sharp #11 blade at all times is critical. Have you been practicing spraying stunt ships in freezing cold East Coast weather?
What about shimming your building table with playing cards? For full authenticity, try to get Rich Giacobone to visit you while your taping.