News:



  • April 23, 2024, 01:36:29 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Humor section?  (Read 74957 times)

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Steve Helmick

  • AMA Member and supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 9935
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #251 on: October 29, 2019, 12:28:48 PM »
Hard to beat a good Red Green skit. Here's a really good one!  y1 Steve

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=208&v=228jlbgFsf0










"The United States has become a place where professional athletes and entertainers are mistaken for people of importance." - Robert Heinlein

In 1944 18-20 year old's stormed beaches, and parachuted behind enemy lines to almost certain death.  In 2015 18-20 year old's need safe zones so people don't hurt their feelings.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Dwayne

  • Guest
  • Trade Count: (0)
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #254 on: November 06, 2019, 06:08:36 AM »
lol

Offline BillP

  • 21 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 513
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #255 on: November 06, 2019, 08:33:01 AM »
Why did the fiancee eat her engagement ring?  Because she thought carats were good for her health. Hahahaha.
Bill P.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline john e. holliday

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 22773
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #257 on: November 15, 2019, 10:51:00 AM »
Now we are back to regulat time.  I wish they would leave it alone.
John E. "DOC" Holliday
10421 West 56th Terrace
Shawnee, KANSAS  66203
AMA 23530  Have fun as I have and I am still breaking a record.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #260 on: November 23, 2019, 05:44:52 AM »
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline john e. holliday

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 22773
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #262 on: November 24, 2019, 03:46:08 PM »
I wonder why the Morman Church won't except her?
John E. "DOC" Holliday
10421 West 56th Terrace
Shawnee, KANSAS  66203
AMA 23530  Have fun as I have and I am still breaking a record.

Online RC Storick

  • Forum owner
  • Administrator
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 12410
  • The finish starts with the first piece of wood cut
    • Stunt Hangar
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #263 on: November 24, 2019, 06:54:09 PM »
Now we are back to regulat time.  I wish they would leave it alone.

AMA 12366

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #264 on: November 26, 2019, 06:09:08 PM »
The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)

Democratic Senators are considering introducing legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

“As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin, II: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”


This message was approved by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Maxine Waters, Elizabeth Warren & Nancy Pelosi.......all Americans With No Abilities whatsoever!!

Offline Fredvon4

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2099
  • Central Texas
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #265 on: November 27, 2019, 08:58:57 AM »
DAMMIT BOB.....BEST BELLY LAUGH TODAY!!!
"A good scare teaches more than good advice"

Fred von Gortler IV

Offline Steve Helmick

  • AMA Member and supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 9935
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #266 on: November 27, 2019, 11:31:52 PM »
******************************************************************************
"The United States has become a place where professional athletes and entertainers are mistaken for people of importance." - Robert Heinlein

In 1944 18-20 year old's stormed beaches, and parachuted behind enemy lines to almost certain death.  In 2015 18-20 year old's need safe zones so people don't hurt their feelings.

Offline Steve Helmick

  • AMA Member and supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 9935
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #267 on: November 28, 2019, 01:54:22 PM »
This is just as received. It may offend the fractional Irish side of my family, but they're all dead, so...   LL~ Steve

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

'Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.'

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost £500, and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife..

'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.
"The United States has become a place where professional athletes and entertainers are mistaken for people of importance." - Robert Heinlein

In 1944 18-20 year old's stormed beaches, and parachuted behind enemy lines to almost certain death.  In 2015 18-20 year old's need safe zones so people don't hurt their feelings.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #268 on: November 29, 2019, 12:32:54 PM »
I had the displeasure of watching the tv show "Treasure of Oak Island" over the Thanksgiving holiday. Nothing else to do. They finally found the treasure box. It was down 300 feet with all kinds of traps and flood tunnels with "14th century" (every thing they find is labeled 14th century) railroad spikes, carved stones and coconut logs with a Yellawood tag. They had a grand opening at their "war room" at the end of the show. One of the brothers opened the chest and took out a piece of paper. It was Obama's birth certificate. Watch for it on EBAY.
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Elwyn Aud

  • 2019 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1301
    • Inferalandings Photo Page
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #269 on: November 29, 2019, 01:57:25 PM »
Pretty funny. I watched a couple of the early episodes of the Oak Island treasure hunt but now I figure if they actually discover something major you'll see it make big news and not just some little news snippet to fill up space on somebody's website.

Offline John Hammonds

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 567
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #270 on: November 29, 2019, 04:42:47 PM »
"Do not inflate"... Well I thought it was funny.

TTFN
John

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.....
Fast, Cheap, Reliable - Choose any 2!
BMFA 165249

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Dwayne

  • Guest
  • Trade Count: (0)
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #272 on: December 01, 2019, 06:50:47 AM »
I had the displeasure of watching the tv show "Treasure of Oak Island" over the Thanksgiving holiday. Nothing else to do. They finally found the treasure box. It was down 300 feet with all kinds of traps and flood tunnels with "14th century" (every thing they find is labeled 14th century) railroad spikes, carved stones and coconut logs with a Yellawood tag. They had a grand opening at their "war room" at the end of the show. One of the brothers opened the chest and took out a piece of paper. It was Obama's birth certificate. Watch for it on EBAY.

 y1 <= ~> n~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~

Offline Air Ministry .

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 4985
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #273 on: December 10, 2019, 07:53:09 PM »
" The Government is currently meeting it's Carbon emission Standards "  1:45 p.m. , 11 Dec. Katoomba .  :-[


Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #274 on: December 10, 2019, 09:21:51 PM »
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?  ;D  #^  y1




Offline Gary Dowler

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 1017
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #275 on: December 11, 2019, 03:36:31 PM »
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?  ;D  #^  y1
Astrohoof!
Profanity is the crutch of the illiterate mind

Dwayne

  • Guest
  • Trade Count: (0)
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #276 on: December 11, 2019, 08:33:57 PM »
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?  ;D  #^  y1
I  know, but I won't say it, I'll just say tis the season.  LL~

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Online Dan Berry

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 1061
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #277 on: December 11, 2019, 10:08:00 PM »
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?  ;D  #^  y1

Missile Toe

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #278 on: December 21, 2019, 06:10:49 AM »
Best divorce letter EVER!!!

 


Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #279 on: December 21, 2019, 06:22:32 AM »
Funny bumper stickers!

 


Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #280 on: January 04, 2020, 05:23:11 AM »
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #281 on: January 05, 2020, 07:03:58 AM »


It's about a town in Newfoundland/Labrador, Canada. Several towns in the U.S. with the same name.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 07:26:16 AM by Perry Rose »
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Andre Ming

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *****
  • Posts: 872
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #282 on: January 05, 2020, 10:35:38 AM »

Well, now that the town of Dildo has been put on the international map, they can pretty much kiss their previous way of life good bye.

Perhaps the fad will pass... but it will have its impact.

I like living in Nowhere, OK and don't ever want it to become internationally renown for anything.

Andre
Searching to find my new place in this hobby!

Offline Jim Carter

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 953
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #283 on: January 05, 2020, 01:13:00 PM »
Well, now that the town of Dildo has been put on the international map, they can pretty much kiss their previous way of life good bye.

Perhaps the fad will pass... but it will have its impact.

I like living in Nowhere, OK and don't ever want it to become internationally renown for anything.

Andre

Personally, I like INTERCOURSE … in Pennsylvannia!!   %^@ LL~ LL~

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #284 on: January 05, 2020, 04:01:33 PM »
 
 "Personally, I like INTERCOURSE … in Pennsylvania!!"

  And, don't forget Blue Ball, PA!

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #285 on: January 05, 2020, 04:02:56 PM »
Some cartoon humor!


Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #286 on: January 05, 2020, 04:05:24 PM »
And, some more!!


Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #287 on: January 05, 2020, 04:06:49 PM »
Still coming!


Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #288 on: January 05, 2020, 06:08:12 PM »
Money can't buy navigational skills!!   LL~  LL~  LL~

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #289 on: January 07, 2020, 06:15:16 PM »
Think you've seen it all?
Check this out.


Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #290 on: January 10, 2020, 10:34:10 AM »
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline bob whitney

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 2248
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #291 on: January 10, 2020, 01:34:25 PM »
Money can't buy navigational skills!!   LL~  LL~  LL~

who said Stupid doesn't hurt
rad racer

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #292 on: January 12, 2020, 07:45:52 AM »
The night before,college style.
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Dwayne

  • Guest
  • Trade Count: (0)
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #293 on: January 12, 2020, 08:21:41 AM »


 LL~ LL~ LL~

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #295 on: January 31, 2020, 10:59:48 AM »
A good one!!!!

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #296 on: February 09, 2020, 10:43:55 AM »
   

Dangerous Hicks from the old Speed channel.
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #297 on: February 09, 2020, 05:12:11 PM »
Can't remember if I posted these before but just the same, ENJOY!!

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #298 on: February 09, 2020, 05:16:13 PM »
ENJOY!!

Offline Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2923
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #299 on: February 09, 2020, 05:18:18 PM »
Still more.


Advertise Here
Tags:
 


Advertise Here