News:


  • April 27, 2024, 04:12:03 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Humor section?  (Read 75604 times)

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #900 on: October 11, 2023, 11:49:32 PM »
A few more.

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #901 on: October 11, 2023, 11:52:24 PM »
What the heck, let's keep laughing!


Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #902 on: October 11, 2023, 11:56:38 PM »
And FINALLY!! (for now anyway)

Offline GallopingGhostler

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 511
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #903 on: October 12, 2023, 11:03:50 AM »
Robert, I liked this one from you last month.


Offline john e. holliday

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 22773
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #904 on: October 12, 2023, 01:01:40 PM »
Some think these are funny, but in reallity some of them should be taken seriously.  I think if the so called president is reelected I might seriouslly think of leaving thew country.  But where as they have their brain dead leasers also. D>K S?P
John E. "DOC" Holliday
10421 West 56th Terrace
Shawnee, KANSAS  66203
AMA 23530  Have fun as I have and I am still breaking a record.

Offline Gerald Arana

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1535
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #905 on: October 12, 2023, 07:30:50 PM »
And FINALLY!! (for now anyway)

LMAO again Robert! All those are great. Keep'm coming.

Jerry

Offline Dwayne Donnelly

  • 22 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 571
  • Balsa Beavers Toronto Canada
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #906 on: October 13, 2023, 03:07:26 PM »
Peace my friends.  :)
My purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

Offline Dave Moritz

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 405
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #907 on: October 14, 2023, 10:28:54 AM »
Bravo, Dwayne. Ol’ Carl knew a thing or two.

Dave Mo…
It’s a very strange world we live in, Master Jack.” (4 Jacks and a Jill)

Offline John Gluth

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Ensign
  • **
  • Posts: 43
  • Knight 1992
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #908 on: October 14, 2023, 11:10:23 AM »
"How silly it all is. Here we are for an average of 75 years and instead of working together, we've created every single possible idea to keep us apart."

Mario Philip Azzopardi
Good answers come only from asking the right questions.

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #909 on: October 14, 2023, 04:41:28 PM »
Hi, John - not sure I understand your reply.   ???  ???

Bob Z.

Offline GallopingGhostler

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 511
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #910 on: October 14, 2023, 06:34:57 PM »
Some think these are funny, but in reallity some of them should be taken seriously.  I think if the so called president is reelected I might seriously think of leaving the country.  But where as they have their brain dead lessers also. D>K S?P

Question is, where to go. I like President Obrador of Mexico, but elections are coming up, and a new president could bring things back to square one.

Offline Gerald Arana

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1535
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #911 on: October 14, 2023, 06:43:44 PM »
Question is, where to go. I like President Obrador of Mexico, but elections are coming up, and a new president could bring things back to square one.

This is a "HUMOR" site and I'm not laughing at your post..................... n~

Jerry

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #912 on: October 14, 2023, 08:18:29 PM »
OK, Jerry - here's some more HUMOR!!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #913 on: October 14, 2023, 08:23:55 PM »
And, a few more.

Offline Gerald Arana

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1535
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #914 on: October 15, 2023, 01:40:56 PM »
And, a few more.

Robert, I can't choose which one is the funniest........................possibly the whale one!  ;D

Keep/m coming, Jerry

Offline Steve Dwyer

  • 2020 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 916
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #915 on: October 27, 2023, 12:10:40 PM »
An old man was driving his Lambo with 100 miles/hour when suddenly he saw the police chasing him. So, he starts speeding up, 140, then 150, then 180.
Suddenly he slows down and thinks: "I'm too old for this."
He pulls over and waits for the police to catch up. The officer gets out of the car and as he's heading to the old man, he says:
"Sir, my shift is ending in 10 minutes. Today's Friday and I'm leaving this weekend with my family. If you give me a very good reason, but seriously, something I never heard before, I'll let you go"
The old man looks at him, thinks very hard and says:
"Years ago, my wife ran away with a policeman and when I saw you chasing me I thought you're bringing her back"
"A good day to you sir" - said the policeman

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #916 on: November 11, 2023, 02:43:56 PM »
        Points to PONDER!

So now cocaine is legal in Oregon, but straws aren’t.  That must be frustrating..
 Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.
 Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.
 The older I get, the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.
 Being popular on facebook is like sitting at the ‘cool table’ in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.
 You know you’re over 50 when you have ‘upstairs ibuprofen’ and ‘downstairs ibuprofen’.
 How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when… the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and… the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all lives over  200 years.
 I too was once a male trapped in a female body…but then my mother gave birth.
 If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
 The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
 When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.
 It’s weird being the same age as old people.
 Just once, I want a username and password prompt to respond CLOSE ENOUGH.
 Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
 e celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages …… Metamucil and Ensure.
 You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means knowing someone who can drive at night.
 Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
 After watching how some people wore their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
 Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
 For those of you that don’t want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything.
 I just got a present labeled, ‘From Mom and Dad,’ and I know darn well that Dad has no idea what’s inside.
 
Now that Covid has everyone washing their hands correctly…next week…Turn Signals.
 Someone said, “Nothing rhymes with orange.”  I said, “No, it doesn’t.”
 The pessimist complains about the wind.  The optimist expects it to change.  The realist adjusts his sails.
 There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
 Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
 I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
 My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
 Exercise helps you with decision-making. It’s true. I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again.


 


Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #917 on: November 11, 2023, 02:47:25 PM »

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.

Would public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?

Who will pay these Pecker Checkers -- the people using the restroom or the entity that owns the restroom? And how much will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?

Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?

How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?

What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?

Want to guess their motto? "If You gotta pee - We gotta see!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #918 on: November 11, 2023, 02:53:51 PM »
                                                    COLD WINTER COMING??

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood !'
 

 
 

Offline Dennis Leonhardi

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1777
    • AirClassix on eBay
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #919 on: November 18, 2023, 08:25:01 AM »
Robert, I liked this one from you last month.



 LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~ LL~

Best I've seen in years!!!
Think for yourself !  XXX might win the Nats, be an expert on designing, building, finishing, flying, tuning engines - but you might not wanna take tax advice from him.  Or consider his views on the climate to be fact ...

Offline Dennis Leonhardi

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1777
    • AirClassix on eBay
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #920 on: November 18, 2023, 08:29:25 AM »
Think for yourself !  XXX might win the Nats, be an expert on designing, building, finishing, flying, tuning engines - but you might not wanna take tax advice from him.  Or consider his views on the climate to be fact ...

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #921 on: November 26, 2023, 05:32:18 PM »
Some entertainment for you.

It's been a while!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #922 on: November 26, 2023, 05:42:09 PM »
 MORE!!!!!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #923 on: November 26, 2023, 05:51:44 PM »

 Happy yet????

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #924 on: November 26, 2023, 05:58:36 PM »
And, lastly:

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #925 on: November 26, 2023, 06:01:42 PM »

 Two LADIES and michelle obama

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1664
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #926 on: November 29, 2023, 06:11:31 AM »
Vote early, vote often. It's so easy dead people do it all the time.
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Offline Dennis Leonhardi

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1777
    • AirClassix on eBay
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #927 on: December 18, 2023, 09:51:43 AM »
Think for yourself !  XXX might win the Nats, be an expert on designing, building, finishing, flying, tuning engines - but you might not wanna take tax advice from him.  Or consider his views on the climate to be fact ...

Offline GallopingGhostler

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 511
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #928 on: December 18, 2023, 11:34:54 AM »
Good place to watch!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TXHWkQFxAZU

Seems there is never a lack of candidates for the Darwinian Club for Extinction.  LL~

Offline AMV

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Commander
  • ****
  • Posts: 177
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #929 on: January 19, 2024, 04:39:40 PM »
Q: How do you know when British Airways has arrived?
A: The engines are shut down but the whining never stops.

Cheers H^^
-Andrey
Spice is the variety of life.

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #930 on: January 19, 2024, 05:02:15 PM »
My contribution for today!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #931 on: January 19, 2024, 05:10:11 PM »
Can I entertain you with some more?

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #932 on: January 19, 2024, 05:14:16 PM »
And, finally, for now!

Offline GallopingGhostler

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 511
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #933 on: January 21, 2024, 12:18:57 AM »
George Carlin.

Offline Air Ministry .

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 4986
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #934 on: February 02, 2024, 09:10:17 PM »
Why Women Make Better Assassins


The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."

The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".

The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home".

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home "

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

"The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to kill him with the chair."

Online Steve Thompson

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 164
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #935 on: February 03, 2024, 01:36:11 AM »
From Jan/Feb 2004 Stunt News

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #936 on: February 13, 2024, 06:47:22 AM »
Some February laughs!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #937 on: February 13, 2024, 06:52:00 AM »
A few more!

Online Steve Thompson

  • 24 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Commander
  • *
  • Posts: 164
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #938 on: February 14, 2024, 05:57:52 PM »
Found this when going through some boxes of VW parts wrapped in newspaper.  Seatle Post Intelligencer dated Feb 6, 2000.

24 years ago!

Offline Gary Dowler

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 1017
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #939 on: February 14, 2024, 10:09:21 PM »
Found this when going through some boxes of VW parts wrapped in newspaper.  Seatle Post Intelligencer dated Feb 6, 2000.

24 years ago!
I always referred to the PI as the Seattle After Thought....
Profanity is the crutch of the illiterate mind

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #940 on: February 15, 2024, 08:45:21 AM »
OK, I'll send a few more!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #941 on: February 15, 2024, 08:49:39 AM »
Laugh a bit!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #942 on: February 15, 2024, 08:53:32 AM »
The last for today

Offline Gerald Arana

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1535
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #943 on: February 15, 2024, 11:16:44 AM »
OK, I'll send a few more!

"THE WORLD SERIES"! Gawd, those are funny Robert. I really enjoyed all of these last three pages.

Keep'm coming, Jerry

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #944 on: March 02, 2024, 10:09:48 AM »
A song about the MORON attempting to run our country!

What a a**hole.

       

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #945 on: March 02, 2024, 04:06:46 PM »
Here's a few more about the democap scumbags.

Offline Perry Rose

  • Go vote, it's so easy dead people do it all the time.
  • 2015
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1664
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #946 on: April 09, 2024, 05:31:16 AM »

Can you watch to the end?
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight even if she had a chance to win.
The worst part of growing old is remembering when you were young.

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #947 on: April 09, 2024, 05:08:55 PM »
So it's been a while!

Online Robert Zambelli

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 2926
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #948 on: April 09, 2024, 05:12:32 PM »
MORE!!!

Offline Gerald Arana

  • 23 supporter
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Admiral
  • *
  • Posts: 1535
Re: Humor section?
« Reply #949 on: April 09, 2024, 07:13:04 PM »
MORE!!!

LMAO again Robert!

Thank you, Jerry


Advertise Here
Tags:
 


Advertise Here