Disturbing Hurl Discovery

[Brett Buck]

    As much as I hate to leave this year's Hurl on  negative note, I feel it is my duty to the integrity of the event to demonstrate - in stark contrast to the inspiring example of our new champion -  the lengths that unscrupulous individuals will sink to get a few more feet on a Hurl. Witness this engine found  shortly before the opening of The Hurling Grounds:






Needless to say, VGs, turbulators,  and other boundary layer control devices ARE NOT LEGAL and are STRICTLY prohibited for official hurl competition. Note also the dirt in the head fins and the bent needle valve. While is is possible that the needle was original, the dirt in the fins is indisputable evidence of this engine having been hurled. Naturally we have had Hurl Technical Services consult with the USGS in Palo Alto to identify the original of the dirt, unfortunately, the areas are far too large to pinpoint the specific location, although there are a few likely suspects in the target area.

  We have identified the VGs as having been manufactured by one my H. M. Rush of Seattle, Washington; however these particular types have been widely distributed so that is not particular insightful. All the VGS used are "left-handed" units, which indicates the lack of aerodynamic understanding of the value of VGs on Fox 15s - to be expected by an individual that is obviously so unworthy. The tripper strips are made with a typical pinking roller, from FAS-CAL, so not distinct.

    I also note that during testing in the HTS full-scale wind tunnel that the joke is on the perpetrator as the addition of the VGs raised the average C_d by roughly 25% while also raising the frontal area. The effect would be to reduce the throw distance by up to 15 feet! Dumbasses...

   In my capacity as Maximum Leader of The Hurl, I am initiating watching this investigation closely and I assure you that all of our resources are now directed towards avoiding a repeat of this despicable and unsportsmanlike incident.

    Brett

[Dennis Nunes]

This is a shocking discovery! Whoever the perpetrators are should be sought out and punished to the fullest extent of the Hurl rules. They should be banned from further competition for life (or even longer)! How dare they bring about an unsettling situation that would have brought great reproach on this magnificent event know as the Fox 15 Hurl. Long live the Hurl!

Dennis

p.s. Was Rob Holland and Zack Schultz tested for PED's? They should be, as I've never seen a Fox 15 fly that far - them boys ain't right! 

[Jim Benzinger]

As self appointed "High Inquisitor" I strenuously object to your objection! "YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

No where in the rules is this covered. I have a very dog-eared third hand copy from about 15 years ago--I found in the trash outside of the Hurl Technical Services research division. No where do the rules address boundary layer control. Besides this is an obvious attempt to malign certain people's experimental program. Those trip strips are obviously not Mil spec.

Very much like my very much maligned very vaunted hero, Barry Bonds, (He is just the best, the greatest!)  It is not illegal, not covered by the rules. If you want it banned you will have to first, testify before congress, then convene an emergency coven of the ruling politbureau. Of which, BTW, I am the chair. Let me tell you Mr. rules follower, you have no chance of getting this past me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neener neener, neener.

[Brett Buck]

As self appointed "High Inquisitor" I strenuously object to your objection! "YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

No where in the rules is this covered. I have a very dog-eared third hand copy from about 15 years ago--I found in the trash outside of the Hurl Technical Services research division. No where do the rules address boundary layer control.

   Dog-eared?  How do parchment scrolls get dog-eared?

   Rule 6, Paragraph C and D, black and white, clear as a bell. There's really no excuse for not knowing the rules!

        Brett

[Jim Benzinger]

Well sir, obviously, you haven't taken the time to dog ear the important parts of the rules. Yes, parchment dog-ears very nicely.

BTW, Rule 6, Paragraph C and D, black and white, clear as a bell. You are correct. But as you can clearly see, this section deals with ICAO, FAI, and Guinness Book of Records, (That stuff really has a big head on it sometimes) and the setting of official world records, and mitigating conditions of the field--such at 100-year draughts. It most definitely does not cover boundary layer control.

Honestly, sometimes I think you are just making this stuff up to bamboozel the uninitiated.....

[Dennis Nunes]

Honestly, sometimes I think you are just making this stuff up to bamboozel the uninitiated.....

Oh Maximum Leader of The Hurl, doesn't Rule 59, Part A, Section 01, state: That any individual(s) shall be sanctioned from the Hurl or from any discussion regarding the Hurl upon where they (1) imply, suggest, or insinuate that the Maximum Leader of the Hurl and (2) imply, suggest or insinuate that the said Leader of the Hurl is "making this stuff up" or is trying "to bamboozle the uninitiated"?

It is a sacrilege to make such derogatory remarks regarding the Maximum Leader of The Hurl! May these individual(s) receive the severest and harshest punishment allow by the Rules of the Hurl. Long live the Hurl! 


Dennis

[Brett Buck]

Oh Maximum Leader of The Hurl, doesn't Rule 59, Part A, Section 01, state: That any individual(s) shall be sanctioned from the Hurl or from any discussion regarding the Hurl upon where they (1) imply, suggest, or insinuate that the Maximum Leader of the Hurl and (2) imply, suggest or insinuate that the said Leader of the Hurl is "making this stuff up" or is trying "to bamboozle the uninitiated"?

It is a sacrilege to make such derogatory remarks regarding the Maximum Leader of The Hurl! May these individual(s) receive the severest and harshest punishment allow by the Rules of the Hurl. Long live the Hurl! 

   I think Rule 69 (Distributing false information about The Rules of The Hurl) is probably more appropriate, although rarely invoked. To date, only Ron Burn has been sanctioned under rule for his wildly inappropriate conduct in a series of Stuka Stunt posts. Rule 68 (Impersonating an official of The Hurl) could be invoked with regard to the (utterly phony, although creative) declaration of himself as a Grand Inquisitor, which is not an officially recognized Hurl officers position. The nearest equivalent  is he Chief Investigator of The Hurl -  whose identity cannot be revealed for reasons that should be quite obvious. It is most assuredly *not* Mr. Benzinger!

   Eric Viglione is still under sanction for Rule 38 violations (Failure to Appear at a Mandatory Hurl Committee activity), which he has freely admitted to. Right now, only Ron and Eric are under *public* sanction at this time.

   Of course, with the emergency declaration still in effect, and my (virtually unlimited and unchecked) powers as Maximum Leader and associated suspension of the usual due process requirements,  I can make summary judgements and mete out punishment as I see fit.

    In this case, it is clear that as misguided as he may be, Mr. Benzinger's rather ridiculous claims of authority do suggest that he may well be just the kind of person we appreciate here at the Hurl Committee. And it is clearly obvious that crippling emotional issues or mental "shortcomings" are far from a hindrance to Hurl Participation. So, I have no sanction for him - at this time....

     We do, naturally, have him under surveillance. The Sword of Damocles hangs over all transgressors!

  I would add, Mr. Nunes, your own behavior has not gone unnoticed, and suggests a promising future in The Hurl Committee, and your behavior as assistant administrator of The Hurl was explemplary. Keep up the good work!

      Brett

[Brett Buck]

Well sir, obviously, you haven't taken the time to dog ear the important parts of the rules. Yes, parchment dog-ears very nicely.

   A parchment *scroll* has no corners to dog-ear. You have been hoist by your own petard, sir!

Honestly, sometimes I think you are just making this stuff up to bamboozel the uninitiated.....

   Oh, really? Since you are such an expert and have all the rules right in front of you - how many scrolls are there in a complete set of rules? How many enumerated rules are there (just in the main body, disregard all appendices)?   I will give you a hint - it's between 1 and 400, so when you guess, you have a 0.25% chance of guessing right.

  As is obvious from your statements above - you have never seen the rules in any form, nor heard them intoned on the Hurl Information Network. Everyone else knows the rules, and clearly you yourselfare just making things up from whole, er, paper.

     Brett

[Jim Benzinger]

Mr. Buck, whom I have yet to meet,

You may yet be redeemable. However, I never claimed to be Grand Inquisitor. A title truly deserving of someone....just not me. I am, however, the self appointed, "High Inquisitor." A Position of arguably, almost equal importance to the "Maximum Leader of the Hurl."

With all that being said, how do you know I am not the real "Chief Investigator of The Hurl." Could be, maybe not......since it is a secret, if violated, worthy of the torture described in the penalty section, 75. Yes, this section is dog-eared in my copy of the parchments. Fingernails along the chalk board, while being forced to listen to Pat Boone music. This is not a fact trusted to a temp.

[Jim Benzinger]

   A parchment *scroll* has no corners to dog-ear. You have been hoist by your own petard, sir!

   Oh, really? Since you are such an expert and have all the rules right in front of you - how many scrolls are there in a complete set of rules? How many enumerated rules are there (just in the main body, disregard all appendices)?   I will give you a hint - it's between 1 and 400, so when you guess, you have a 0.25% chance of guessing right.

  As is obvious from your statements above - you have never seen the rules in any form, nor heard them intoned on the Hurl Information Network. Everyone else knows the rules, and clearly you yourselfare just making things up from whole, er, paper.

     Brett

We must have crossed in cyberspace. I may now have to re-re-evaluate your competency to govern...And here I thought you were being magnanimous and reasonable. Granted, one of the few times in my life I may have been wrong about something.

The obviousness of the trick question is beneath you sir. As you well know, the number of scrolls is a closely guarded secret, as important as the identity of the "Chief Investigator of The Hurl." The universal answer to the universe would be a clue, though you didn't hear it from me. This number has many cosmic significances, including Feng Shui, and the cosmological constant and vibrational frequency of our universe. But you should know that since you are a purported "Rocket Scientist."

[kevin king]

This despicable and unsportsmanlike incident makes me very angry. Very angry indeed!