Author Topic: A great day to Hurl, and disturbing news! (Read 3330 times)

Brett Buck · « **on:** September 22, 2019, 11:19:14 PM »

As previously noted, the Hurl was today. It was a day of revelry and song, that shall be remembered for eternity. Many magnificent - and I will just say it, MAJESTIC - Hurls were recorded.

Of course, everyone who entered won today, as did all the spectators. However, one of us won more than the others. It was particularly extraordinary day, as young Zack Shulz became the latest 1st-time winner. Being a Hurl Champion is honor enough for anyone, of course, but (and I will have to check the archives as soon as the Hurl Central HQ is re-opened after the lock-down - see below...) he may also have made the greatest Hurl of all time, in terms of raw distance with no Geezer points - an astonishing 191 feet! This appears to substantially exceed the current Official World Record Fox 35 Hurl of Mr. Robert Harness, which is 206 feet including Geezer points, and one non-geezer point Hurl from a certain Unprecedented 4-time Champion (who modesty forbid naming...) of 186 feet. A magnificent day indeed!

However....

Commissioner of the Hurl (not to mention its progenitor, along with his son Aaron) Larry Fernandez did not attend. Rumors were rampant, with the leading theory being "car trouble", which is an understandable, although not excusable, reason for his absence. Of course, the apparent disappearance/failure to appear at a Hurl in mysterious circumstances triggered the Hurl Committee Disaster protocols, putting all Hurl facilities worldwide on lockdown until the status of the Commissioner is determined. The Hurl was conductedm per rule 5, by the highest-ranking hurl official present (and with Alexander Haig nowhere to be found) Deputy Commissioner of the Hurl (self-appointed) Buck, yours truly. In keeping with the controversial "bygones will be bygones" appeoarch recently adopted, I recruited the person most in need of rehabilitation, David Fitzgerald, as my assistant. I would have to say that David's conduct throughout was exemplary, and has gone a long way to restoring his tattered reputation in the eyes of Hurl enthusiasts worldwide.

The Commissioner's whereabouts are currently unknown, and under investigation with all resources available to the Hurl Committee dedicated to getting to the bottom of this alarming development. For those Hurl Committee members who are not already in the loop, open the envelope labelled "Protocol: TUBALCAIN" and follow the directions therein. All activities not directly related to resolution of the Commissioner's whereabouts (wind tunnel work, high-speed computing initiative, Hans Gudegast Fan Club, and the ape-human hybrid gene-splicing project) are to report to work to receive alternate instructions.

Brett

Tom Luciano · « **Reply #1 on:** September 23, 2019, 05:13:11 AM »

Wonder if Duke could have ever imagined two such highly contested events with such prestige on each coastline of this fine land. On the same weekend too! Awesome planning by both committees/organizations.

Congrats to Zach Shulz and Jim Vigani!!

Tom

YakNine · « **Reply #2 on:** September 23, 2019, 05:39:38 AM »

Al Haig, Im dating myself but at the same time LMOA !

Ps.I was being held hostage at piano lessons at the time this happened God Bless everyone injured that day.

John McFayden · « **Reply #3 on:** September 23, 2019, 07:51:12 AM »

I suppose the FBI has confiscated all the YouTube video of the Hurl while the search for the Commissioner is in progress.

Uncle Jimby · « **Reply #4 on:** September 23, 2019, 11:51:43 AM »

...and there was a stunt contest, as well. Note that old man Fancher found himself on the podium after a disturbing absence from our hobby.

Uncle Jimby · « **Reply #5 on:** September 23, 2019, 11:53:05 AM »

Here is Classic and Oldtime

Dennis Nunes · « **Reply #6 on:** September 23, 2019, 01:55:44 PM »

Congragulations Jimby on another great Meet 'n Meat Contest along with the Fox 15 Hurl! Your staff was second to none. Please pass on a big "THANK YOU" to all for their hard and outstanding job.

Though I couldn't repeat as Hurl Champion, it was pretty awesome to see Zach Shulz unleash a tremendous throw to capture the honor. All hail the Hurl!

BTW, Lanny Shorts and I tried to make things interesting afterwards by doing the "limbo" on our last flight to see who could get the lowest in the inverted position. Someone said Lanny did, but afterwards I had to clean off the grass stains on my short rudder. May be the Deputy Commissioner (self appointed) can elaborate and clarify this situation.

This is a great contest and event. I'm sure everyone is looking forward to next year!

Dennis

BYU · « **Reply #7 on:** September 23, 2019, 03:44:18 PM »

Quote from: Uncle Jimby on September 23, 2019, 11:51:43 AM

...and there was a stunt contest, as well.

A huge thank you to Uncle Jimby and the Deputy Commissioner of the Hurl. What a totally awesome contest! We all you owe you a great deal and I myself personal thank you both for your help with the Bowzer and your tireless (but never thankless) coaching.

Custodian of Bobs Your Uncle’s ashes.

Larry Fernandez · « **Reply #8 on:** September 23, 2019, 09:24:16 PM »

Commissioner of the Hurl (not to mention its progenitor, along with his son Aaron) Larry Fernandez did not attend. Rumors were rampant, with the leading theory being "car trouble", which is an understandable, although not excusable, reason for his absence. Of course, the apparent disappearance/failure to appear at a Hurl in mysterious circumstances triggered the Hurl Committee Disaster protocols, putting all Hurl facilities worldwide on lockdown until the status of the Commissioner is determined. The Hurl was conductedm per rule 5, by the highest-ranking hurl official present (and with Alexander Haig nowhere to be found) Deputy Commissioner of the Hurl (self-appointed) Buck, yours truly. In keeping with the controversial "bygones will be bygones" appeoarch recently adopted, I recruited the person most in need of rehabilitation, David Fitzgerald, as my assistant. I would have to say that David's conduct throughout was exemplary, and has gone a long way to restoring his tattered reputation in the eyes of Hurl enthusiasts worldwide.

The Commissioner's whereabouts are currently unknown, and under investigation with all resources available to the Hurl Committee dedicated to getting to the bottom of this alarming development. For those Hurl Committee members who are not already in the loop, open the envelope labelled "Protocol: TUBALCAIN" and follow the directions therein. All activities not directly related to resolution of the Commissioner's whereabouts (wind tunnel work, high-speed computing initiative, Hans Gudegast Fan Club, and the ape-human hybrid gene-splicing project) are to report to work to receive alternate instructions.

Brett
[/quote]

Hi all, I just want to clear up the rumors of kidnapping and other conspiracies. I received numerous phone calls and texts last night about my absence from yesterdays festivities, some spoke of the conspiracy theory that David had me kidnapped so that I could not Hurl against him. Yes this sounds like something David would do, but I assure you that I was not kidnapped.
The simple explanation is that the trans went out on my Suburban while topping the Sunol Grade between Fremont and Pleasanton, leaving me stranded in a Safeway parking lot at 7:00 AM.
I spent the entire day trying to get home, get my other car and chasing down a truck and trailer to get the Suburban back home.

If someone can send me Zacks address I will get his trophy to him. Congratulations Zack, well done!!!!

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team

Uncle Jimby · « **Reply #9 on:** September 23, 2019, 10:09:49 PM »

Hi all, I just want to clear up the rumors of kidnapping and other conspiracies. I received numerous phone calls and texts last night about my absence from yesterdays festivities, some spoke of the conspiracy theory that David had me kidnapped so that I could not Hurl against him. Yes this sounds like something David would do, but I assure you that I was not kidnapped.
The simple explanation is that the trans went out on my Suburban while topping the Sunol Grade between Fremont and Pleasanton, leaving me stranded in a Safeway parking lot at 7:00 AM.
I spent the entire day trying to get home, get my other car and chasing down a truck and trailer to get the Suburban back home.

If someone can send me Zacks address I will get his trophy to him. Congratulations Zack, well done!!!!

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team
[/quote]

I'd be happy to forward Zack's address, but I will need independent third party confirmation that the real Larry Fernandez does indeed exist. Hurl Commission guidelines, as you would certainly know if you were indeed the real Larry Fernandez, require a thorough investigation into the mysterious disappearance of the commissioner and, in fact, my hands are tied until the proper documentation is supplied.

Uncle Jimby · « **Reply #10 on:** September 23, 2019, 10:21:01 PM »

I'd be happy to forward Zack's address, but I will need independent third party confirmation that the real Larry Fernandez does indeed exist. Hurl Commission guidelines, as you would certainly know if you were indeed the real Larry Fernandez, require a thorough investigation into the mysterious disappearance of the commissioner and, in fact, my hands are tied until the proper documentation is supplied.
[/quote]

I have devised a simple test to determine your existence. Answer the following question: What would your response be if Brett Buck asked why there was smoke exiting your inboard wing tip? An incorrect response would have dire consequences. Take your time.

Brett Buck · « **Reply #11 on:** September 23, 2019, 10:43:35 PM »

Quote from: Uncle Jimby on September 23, 2019, 10:21:01 PM

I'd be happy to forward Zack's address, but I will need independent third party confirmation that the real Larry Fernandez does indeed exist. Hurl Commission guidelines, as you would certainly know if you were indeed the real Larry Fernandez, require a thorough investigation into the mysterious disappearance of the commissioner and, in fact, my hands are tied until the proper documentation is supplied.

I have devised a simple test to determine your existence. Answer the following question: What would your response be if Brett Buck asked why there was smoke exiting your inboard wing tip? An incorrect response would have dire consequences. Take your time.

Trust but verify.

Brett

p.s. BTW, another valid question would be "how do you open and close quote tags", but that's apparently asking a bit much.

Larry Fernandez · « **Reply #12 on:** September 23, 2019, 10:50:59 PM »

[quote author=Uncle Jimby link=topic=54679.msg564566#msg564566 date=1569298861

I have devised a simple test to determine your existence. Answer the following question: What would your response be if Brett Buck asked why there was smoke exiting your inboard wing tip? An incorrect response would have dire consequences. Take your time.
[/quote]

The answer to your question of conformation is;
“It does that all the time”

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team

Brett Buck · « **Reply #13 on:** September 23, 2019, 10:59:18 PM »

Quote from: Larry Fernandez on September 23, 2019, 10:50:59 PM

Quote from: Uncle Jimby on September 23, 2019, 10:21:01 PM

I have devised a simple test to determine your existence. Answer the following question: What would your response be if Brett Buck asked why there was smoke exiting your inboard wing tip? An incorrect response would have dire consequences. Take your time.

The answer to your question of conformation is;
“It does that all the time”

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team

I detect a fake, that is not the canonical answer.

Release the kraken!

Brett

Larry Fernandez · « **Reply #14 on:** September 23, 2019, 11:45:09 PM »

Quote from: Brett Buck on September 23, 2019, 10:59:18 PM

The answer to your question of conformation is;
“It does that all the time”

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team

I detect a fake, that is not the canonical answer.

Release the kraken!

Brett

OK Brett, how about this?

“It always does that”, as spoken by one Jeff Anderson.

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team

Larry Fernandez · « **Reply #15 on:** September 24, 2019, 12:09:48 AM »

Quote from: BYU on September 23, 2019, 09:29:07 PM

It is good to hear you are still alive and well and the kidnapping didn’t take place. Are you sure your vehicle wasn’t sabotaged though?

Just sayin. . .

Hmmmm, I had not thought of that. But we all know how underhanded David can be, so this is definitely worth looking into. I’ll be sure to have my transmission guy Paul, do a thorough investigation when he tears it down.
Thanks for the heads up.
Don’t worry fans I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS!!!

Larry, Buttafucco Stunt Team

Robert Zambelli · « **Reply #16 on:** September 24, 2019, 08:10:38 AM »

You need more POWER!!!

Dennis Nunes · « **Reply #17 on:** September 24, 2019, 08:51:15 AM »

Photos from the XXI Meet 'n Meat contest. First four photos were taken by Richard Walbridge (borrowed from facebook)

Enjoy,
Dennis

Dennis Nunes · « **Reply #18 on:** September 24, 2019, 08:52:37 AM »